I often speak to groups about how to be effective in expressing your power. I speak to and train these groups to own their own brilliance and magnificence. Most of these people are successful, smart and educated entrepreneurs and small business owners. Most of them downplay who they are when they talk about themselves. That is a problem. If you’re building or growing a business, you need to be able to get people interested in working with you. To do that, you have to own your power, your brilliance, your accomplishments. We all know that people buy from and work with people they know, trust and like. How can I trust that you are good if you don’t possess it?

As I’ve done this talk, which is highly interactive with a couple hundred people over the past year and when I work with my individual clients, I see this phenomenon of people underplaying their value. So, I have investigated deeply what gives, here?! What I have discovered are a couple of common threads.

The first common thread, which is often in the background for people, is what they learned as children: “Don’t brag.” I think there is a real difference in someone bragging about how good they are with the intention of being superior and making the other person feel inferior and take ownership of your achievements. So while whoever taught you (if this fits you) not to brag probably had that intention in mind, you (if this fits you) took it as not talking about how cool you are. I’m telling you, it doesn’t work for you. What serves you, and frankly the people you serve, is owning your own achievements, skill sets, uniqueness, and frankly, your own brilliance and power. Those who work with you will be proud of what they have working with you and will know they have someone they can count on. So… POSE IT!

The second common thread that I’ve noticed, when digging, is a fear of success masquerading as a fear of failure. What I have seen is that people often gather evidence of any flaws or compare themselves to others who are ‘better’ than they think they are. Or if they say great things about themselves and someone thinks they’re not that great, they’ll be found out to be a fraud. This is so incredibly common that it’s been dubbed “impostor syndrome.” I want you to know that all people fail. You fail, you learn lessons, you grow, and you move on. Are there people who are better at ‘it’ (whatever that is for you)? Probably… so what, that doesn’t diminish who you are or what you have and can achieve. The biggest impediment seems to be this statement, which is often just below the surface: “What if I’m really successful, how will I maintain it or do better?” This leads to mediocrity and the failure to possess his power.