I don’t like the term “elderly people”, I prefer older people. I mean, when you were young, didn’t you want to be with the older kids? But the world uses this as a way to describe old or elderly people. I can switch between the two.

Thus begins my story. I was married for 35 years, widowed now for 5 years. Looking for a relationship was not my reason to try an online dating service. There was another staff that didn’t care what I experienced.

So I chose a recommended site, to test the waters, which was free. I wasn’t going to pay and instantly they gave me 49 “let’s meet”. I had posted a real picture of how I look now, an honest description and accurate answers. I mean, let’s be honest, we’re not going to say, “Overweight, wrinkled old crone is looking for a stud.” So skimming the truth is not horrible. But what I initially found were poorly written profiles almost to the point of trying to look like genuine, horrible selfies (the bathroom ones being the worst) on one side and then cleverly written profiles on the other side that were contrived. My favorite is that almost every guy is laid back as well as an athlete (photos on boats, skiing, or walking). Yes, all men my age are virile. That’s why Viagra sells more than aspirin. I have the need to skim the truth but “profile talk” with walks on the beach, sunsets and other buzzwords; It was making me nauseous. I changed my profile so many times that at one point I offered to write profiles for a fee. In fact, I made recommendations about the use of images. I mean missing teeth, ragged clothes and shirtless photos are among my favorites. Yes, those will roll into female shades.

I contacted a real scammer who pissed me off, but nothing really happened to me. I mention the FBI and panic ensues. I could understand scammers, but something just as nefarious happened. So I searched for articles on online dating, tons of scammers, but nothing I finally found about that we “old guys” need to know about. I was angry at the scammer, but wiser and more informed on what to look for, I went back into the fray and discovered what, to me, was so daunting.

Choosing to choose a site that was supposed to be for “seniors”, I browsed for free. The profiles seemed legitimate and more realistic. I got the free smiles or winks to show interest, but I couldn’t continue unless I joined for communication access. So I took the cheapest $30 and moved on. I sent a few messages but got one line replies and then nothing. So I asked more detailed questions and got unrelated answers. I found this very strange, I mean, is he just talking? Why weren’t kids my age responding? So maybe some want younger women, that makes sense, but the answers were haunting me. Something was wrong.

So I decided to do my own research, based on my instincts. I know from polls and that 1 person represents 100 in likes, dislikes and opinions; so I became a researcher, not a seeker. I read most of the profiles, being careful to choose the same types, since the service is analyzing my selections and preferences. I looked at the photos, profiles, likes, etc. They were all from my state and within 100 miles or less, with most around 20 miles. The general age group that appeared to browse was 58-68. I looked at each image in my browser about 75-100 guys.

I then selected about 35+ to send messages, commenting on current local events, their photos, etc. I mentioned to a guy that he had a great photo. What photo do I have? The image I’m looking at is the one we’re messaging each other with. Oh that photo. Oh, it was in Atlantic City, I actually answered, “I was from Jersey.” Silence. This happened several times. So I contacted a guy, 70 years old, who wasn’t sure if his profile was him, hacked or inactive. I assumed that selecting a guy older than me would generate interest, like wanting a younger woman. What I got was language that was not along the lines of a 70-year-old man. The dialogue turned belligerent when I asked him to confirm if he was represented. No real person would feel unpleasant about asking a simple question, especially an older man to a woman. I don’t want to detail any other telltale signs as this might help this to continue, but I knew from the start that I was communicating with a much younger person.

So here is my evaluation. Of the 35+ guys I messaged, I received 1 communication back and forth. Let’s break this down. Of these guys, let’s say 10 wanted a younger woman. Let’s say 8 didn’t like my appearance. Maybe 10 weren’t online but I sent messages, they should have gotten notifications but maybe they didn’t like me either. That still leaves 7. But let’s be honest about these guys, whatever I look like, at least 2 guys just want to have sex. That is a reality or there had to be some really lonely guys. Either way no communication?

What was going on was so obvious that I was surprised it had never been written about before. I really think none of these guys were “active” members. I mean, one guy’s profile said he was actually 67, not 61, but the age next to the picture of him was 63, and 4 hours later the same guy was 58, what a clever trick!

I can bet that my own little survey, if carried out on a broader basis, would prove me right. My conclusion is that all these services are aimed at the 18-45 age group. Older adults would tend to want to stick around for a while and then get off, the age group in this group would be very low, so to keep getting new subscribers they have to recycle inactive members. I think I communicated with a young person or a robot designed to respond in a certain way. These are unethical business practices. The service claims hundreds or thousands of new members daily, which may be true with younger people but not older ones.

These services care less because if they have an average of 100 people per week who buy 1 month those $3000 buckeroos for a week. It is a scam in another sense. They may not be scamming someone into cleaning out their bank accounts, but they are dealing with a bait-and-switch business practice that misleads people; no faithful representation of who is active. Their disclaimer absolves them of any scam etc. They offer tips to identify false profiles but at the same time liars. Your photos are now your property. Why would they need them? If not use them this way.

Now, one can state that this is not a guarantee, absolutely correct. But the real fraud is hurting older people who are already entering with more insecurities and fears. As long as you are alert to scammers, no one would think that there are not 100 guys to browse but 10. Come on. I can accept rejection, but let it be from real people, not ghost limbs or robot talkers. My author image is the same one I used.

I complained and asked for a refund. They gave me half, of which, at this writing, has not happened. If I don’t get it. I will discuss the charge. Older people would not consider this aspect. They forget about it and think they were rejected or are embarrassed to even claim they entered a site.

I checked several more sites, related to age and they all work the same way. There has to be a better method and I’m going to find out.

So older! oldies! Boomers! Don’t buy nonsense. Give it a try, like I did, then if you get similar results, ask for a refund. They put us in their pocket, they return the favor.