There is nothing I can call mine. Any. All I have are these empty words and phrases that I have collected from somewhere else. Through trial and error they have taught me everything. Even this language in which I am writing is a conventional product. They teach me how to space the notes between two words and thus a language. All that is in me is this educational, cultural, social and religious contribution. Sometimes I feel like a walking robot. That particular robot is the product of ‘input’ and ‘output’. Whereas I am the product of ‘stimulus’ and ‘response’. Any effort on my part to separate myself from that ‘stimulus’ and ‘response’ through meditation or any other psychedelic means is highly artificial. All I want is what they (the world around me) want me to want. I think I am coming to the terms that there is no definite definition and purpose of life, motto one. And the moment we read one, our entire existence becomes a reflection of it. Each of our actions is shaped by that particular purpose, in one way or another.

This representation of life sometimes scares me and from that ‘fear’ (which they say is the oldest emotion, a protective mechanism) a ‘hope’ is created. A hope that one day reality or ultimate reality will dawn on me but at the same time I maintain that we live and die in that hope. But having said that, I suppose that on an individual level one can spend one’s life regardless of culture, society and traditions, etc., like Christopher McCandless (Into the Wild). But ultimately there is no point in doing it. I think one has to realize that there is no separate entity called ‘luck’ or ‘fate’, but only the chance incidents or decisions one makes in their existence, in fact only decisions.

So eventually I think I have to come to terms with thought, evolved knowledge and conventional norms having functional value in society. And even more, society itself wants to be helped to maintain its status quo. Whether it is the communist society, the capitalist society, the fascist, the Hindu, the Mohammedan, all societies want individuals to contribute. And if you want to live a healthy and intelligent life you have to contribute within the possible framework of your contribution. So you walk with the system in harmony. Since you are supposed to walk with the system around you, the system will not walk with you. And when you accept the world on the basis of pure knowledge, evolved knowledge, you literally begin to realize the importance of everything.

Every living creature becomes priceless and comparatively less to you, even a single ant. Because you realize that you can travel millions and billions of light years from this planet in any given direction, but you won’t find another match for that little creature. In simple words, you begin to live in harmony with nature and the system around you. And I think that’s the only mutual good we can achieve on this little blue planet called ‘Earth.’