“Being gay is a gift from God. But our culture does not understand it and consequently sends messages that you must be isolated. And isolation is the antithesis of what we all need. We need community, we simply cannot do spirituality or be I fully live without community “

The above line was recently spoken by the Rev. Ed Bacon, rector of All Saints’ Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California, during one of Oprah’s shows in early January. What a wonderful way to start the new year! Don’t you think? I sure wish Oprah was around when I was growing up almost 40 years ago! It sure would have made things much easier, and it is likely that hearing such statements on national television would have given me the courage I needed to speak to my dad much earlier and not confess him in prayer after his death, leaving me. feeling guilty because he never really got to know me as I am.

While watching the broadcast (which I’m sure you can find by just Googling the words “Oprah” and “Gay”) at the same time. I wonder why it was completely unexpected and why it resonated deep within me. Happiness because in many ways it was a public acknowledgment of two highly respected spiritual leaders with many followers, reaffirming something that I have come to know and accept in my life after much pain and several hundred hours of therapy: That I was created in the image and likeness of God; that God in me, like me, is me. I felt sad because I felt that in many ways, although a lot of ground has been bravely gained already, there is a lot of healing that has yet to take place in the gay and lesbian community, not just here in South Africa, but around the world. .

So the question is where do we start? How do we start to heal the wounds that left years of feeling isolated, ‘different’ from the rest, years of being told that we are abominations, deviants, pedophiles, freaks and so many other ‘labels’, that unfortunately many of us started? a, and eventually did they believe, some to the point where they ended their life? What comes to mind are the words of Gandhi “Be the change you want to see in the world “. For me, that translates into: being the healing, powerful, caring, and self-accepted gay person that I want to see other gay men and women in the world. The work begins first with oneself, then, as Rev. Ed Bacon indicates, in the community in which we live.

The road to healing can be long and painful for some of us, and for you it may take longer than you expect depending on how long you have been holding on to those ‘beliefs’ about homosexuality imposed by others. All healing must first begin with full and complete acceptance of what is. That means fully accepting everything that has happened in your life as a consequence of accepting those separation beliefs without thinking about what you could have, should have, or would have done. Once you’ve done that, take the time to harvest. everything positive that came out of it. Sure there were bad times, but certainly not everything was bad. Some good things must have come out of it. What good things came up? Perhaps to hide his feelings of shame he learned to play an instrument or develop a skill or talent that he would not otherwise have. Perhaps you hid in the local library where you had the opportunity to read books that you would never have found. Or perhaps, in the places you ran away you met wonderful, loving and caring people who became lovers, other friends for life. Whatever it is, it helps if you write it down. Then after you’ve listed all the good that came out of all that sense of separation and isolation, take the time to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the most underrated and powerful spiritual practices out there! All forgiveness is truly self-forgiveness, because when we forgive others, we are really healing and releasing all those thoughts, emotions, and feelings that we have within us about them. Why do you have to forgive yourself? Who else do you need to forgive? Your parents, church, friends, society, God? Write it. You can write something like … “I forgive you _______ for _________. I release you and let you go. You no longer have any power over me.” Forgiveness clears the way and allows true healing to occur. Finally, ask yourself, “What new quality is trying to emerge in me now? What are you seeking to give birth to? Write it down. You see, in every apparent challenge or problem in our lives, there is always some quality called emerging within us. In my case, once I was able to forgive and really let go of my own limited thoughts about myself, I began to feel freer, more confident in myself, more accepted by myself. Those were the qualities they were trying to achieve. emerge.

The healing we want to see in the world really begins with ourselves. As more of us begin to recognize this process and take responsibility for our own lives, our own Divinity begins to emerge, our lights shine brighter. This, in turn, allows others to do the same. By Divinity I mean all those qualities of God that we inherited when we were born: Love, Joy, Abundance, Peace, Acceptance, Harmony, Power, Giving, Creativity, the list goes on and on. As the Rev. Michael B. Beckwith, spiritual director and founder of the Agape Movement, said during the same Oprah broadcast: “PIt just so happens that people aren’t just gay. People are born homosexual by divine right. We are the image and likeness of God, just as we are. “

Gay affirmations

  • I am gay for a powerful and purposeful reason.
  • I accept my personal responsibility to be a healing force in my life, the gay community, and the world.
  • I release shame and internalized homophobia from all levels of my being.
  • Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I am in tune with the vibration of deep self-love and acceptance.
  • In this alignment, my thoughts, words, and deeds are full of grace, clarity, and power.
  • How good it is to be gay! I’m FABULOUS … it’s true!