To truly cure depersonalization disorder (including derealization symptoms), you need to attack it on several different levels. If you don’t heed this advice, you could suffer from the disorder for years or even decades.

Depersonalization is caused by disorganized attachment, emotional abuse, dysfunctional family systems, interpersonal trauma, chronic stress, exposure to traumatic events, obsessive and distorted thought patterns, and use of specific drugs such as marijuana and hallucinogens. Several (but not necessarily all) of these factors will be present in anyone who acquires depersonalization disorder (DPD).

Each level must be addressed for a full recovery to occur.

Let’s start with the first item in the list:

Develop Earned Security

A disorganized attachment style is caused by suboptimal parenting during a child’s early childhood. This pattern of attachment creates a tendency within the child towards dissociation when he is faced with stressful circumstances. When this child gets older, he is likely to dissociate if he encounters a strong enough stressor.

You may be wondering, “If I have a disorganized attachment, can I do anything about it?” The answer is absolutely yes.

You have to acquire a secure attachment. Secure attachment, also known as autonomous attachment, can be acquired in adulthood. This is known to attachment therapists as “earned security.”

Engage in emotional expression to overcome emotional abuse

In order to overcome emotional abuse, you must first become aware of the fact that you suffered emotional abuse as a child. Many victims of emotional abuse are not even aware that this occurred. Second, you must engage in emotional expression, also known as emotional discharge. Expressing pent up emotions can often instantly get rid of feelings of de-realization.

Overcome the legacy of your dysfunctional family system

Most people with depersonalization come from dysfunctional family systems. In the most general sense, a dysfunctional family is one in which one parent has a problem and all other family members are forced to adapt their way of thinking, feeling, and behaving to accommodate this person’s problem. These ways of being take root in each family member, so that even if they leave the family system, they have dysfunctions in their thinking, feeling and behavior. Most people with depersonalization have suffered from these settings and have not yet corrected these problems.

The four main types of dysfunctional families are the alcoholic or chemically dependent family system, the emotionally or psychologically disturbed family system, the physically or sexually abusive family system, the religious fundamentalist or rigidly dogmatic family system. The four “rules” shared by each of these systems are rigidity, denial, silence, and isolation. In these families, it is difficult for children to develop a strong sense of self. Disassociation is often a way for children in these families to separate from the grief.

Codependency, entanglement, perfectionism, low self-esteem, and narcissistic grandiosity are other problems for people from dysfunctional families. All of these problems contribute greatly to the duration and intensity of depersonalization and derealization.

Be assertive to avoid future interpersonal trauma

Interpersonal trauma is frequently more severe than traumatic events. Interpersonal trauma is also seen in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which is frequently comorbid with depersonalization disorder. Assertive communication is important for people with PD to learn. By becoming assertive, rather than submissive or aggressive, you can learn to interact with the social world in a healthy way.

Learn to Eliminate Chronic Stress

Anxiety is closely related to PD. Learning relaxation techniques such as abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, peaceful imagery, and paying attention to your emotional needs are essential skills for avoiding stress, which acts as fuel for PD. In modern society, stress is chronic. It is extremely important to take a break from goal-related activity. 20 minutes of mindfulness meditation can be extremely therapeutic. Eliminating caffeine and other stimulants is important for reducing stress.

Also, increase your protein intake and eat more whole fruits and vegetables. It is also important to combine aerobic and anaerobic exercise regimens to optimize the stress-reducing benefits of exercise.

30 minutes of moderately intense running 3 times a week in addition to a weight lifting program can drastically reduce levels of stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline, etc.). Studies in mice have found that exercise builds resilience against stress, which may help reduce anxiety.

Heal a wounded self

In Depersonalization Disorder, there is a breakdown in a person’s sense of self. When this missing piece returns to a person’s consciousness, they can feel repersonalized. Codependency is when a person is addicted to changing others, instead of changing themselves.

There is a case reported in the literature of an African American woman who became depersonalized because she grew up in a white family and never talked about being black. It is likely that there is an element of the self that has been disowned or suppressed because it causes shame or pain. This element of self must become aware of and reintegrate into the person’s sense of self.

The self could have been hurt in a traumatic event, or by doing something that was seen as embarrassing or inappropriate.

Correct obsessive and distorted thought patterns

Depersonalization is on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum and is often made worse by obsessive autorumia and distorted thought patterns. Learning distraction techniques can help eradicate self-focus.

Self-focus worsens depersonalization. Obsessing over philosophical questions such as the meaning of life, eternity, questions of space, and contemplating insoluble existential questions worsens depersonalization. These problems are actually ways that people with PD avoid and ignore their true needs.

It is crucial to focus on your life goals and not on existential issues.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is also helpful in overcoming illogical thoughts. Emotional reasoning is the most common thought distortion among people with depersonalization. This is where feelings are used as a justification for thoughts. For example, if you feel unreal, you may assume that you are in fact not real and question aspects of your existence. This is illogical.

Perceive the world as normal

People with depersonalization find things “strange” and “weird.” When you see everything as normal, you eliminate this source of anxiety. Everything is normal. Nothing is strange or weird. Things are only perceived as strange or weird when they go against our preconceived ideas.

If your preconceived idea is that the earth is flat, then you realize that it is actually round, you may think that this is “weird”, when in fact it is normal.

If your preconception is that matter is completely solid and you find that atoms are mostly empty space, you may conclude that this is “weird.”

Realizing that everything in the universe is, in fact, normal can help eliminate existential fear and anxiety.

Develop goals and achieve priorities

It is extremely important to work on developing personal goals and setting priorities. By adopting an optimistic attitude and focusing on the things you really want to achieve, you can generate a sense of purpose within yourself that repels feelings of depersonalization.

To achieve what you want to achieve, you need to break tasks into small, manageable chunks, and tackle bigger priorities before less important goals. By having a sense of direction in your life, you will feel much more grounded in reality.

By following the tips above, you will develop a fully integrated sense of self, which will lead to the eradication of symptoms of both depersonalization and derealization.