How often do you let go completely? In other words, when was the last time you stopped running on that hamster wheel of life and took a real break from the action? It is important to take regular breaks to give yourself a chance to release your inner self. It’s not just about having a quick “stop and smell the roses” moment, but about hitting the pause button for a period of time.

The problem with doing this is that we have a tendency to unleash our inner critic. It’s bad enough that we’re bombarded 24/7 with negative news and images, so why would we want to focus on the negative things about ourselves? Is it because we have too high expectations of others and then feel compelled to be even harder on ourselves?

You just have to stop! All this negativity does not help you in your professional career. Instead, it can actually do the opposite. By constantly beating ourselves up, we lose confidence and motivation to take on new opportunities/jobs/promotions. There is also the possibility that your negativity will affect others, including family, friends, and teammates. Negativity is a very powerful emotion, so sometimes it’s hard to let go.

The first way to reverse these thoughts is to have an honest conversation with yourself. Identify the positive attributes you possess and write them down. If you have difficulty with this exercise, ask others, but it is recommended that you at least try to start it yourself. As you create your list, keep track of how many times negative thoughts come to mind. For example, you might have written that you’re a good speaker, but as soon as it’s on paper, you start thinking about that little pause you took or got a sentence a bit wrong in your last presentation. The question is “did anyone notice?” Probably not! So why are you haranguing yourself?

Keep in mind that no one is perfect. The media, the shows we watch, and even celebrities seem to portray “perfection,” but that’s not the reality. No brand of lipstick, sports car, or multi-million dollar house will make one’s life perfect. Some people associate success with the things one owns, the vacations one takes, and even, to some extent, the people one seems to be friends with. In reality, these symbols can mask what the person is really feeling.

For me, the definition of success is happiness. It is holistic in the sense that it should encompass all facets of your life and make you feel fulfilled. During your career journey, remind yourself that whatever path you take, be kind to yourself, even if the path leads you to a dead end. There is always a way to turn around and take another route.