The other day, I received an email from a very upset wife who told me that her husband had sat her down, indicated that she had been thinking a lot about their marriage and had decided that she “deserved better, so he wanted a marriage.” . divorced. “Needless to say, she’s very confused by this. She’s not sure if the whole ‘deserve better’ statement is just an excuse he’s using for wanting out. She’s not sure if he’s guilty or not. She hints at something she wants to reveal and is not sure how to respond. Should I emphasize that she is perfectly happy and that he is wrong to deserve more? Or should she try to dig deeper to determine who is behind it and risk making the situation worse? ? I will answer these questions in the next article.

How you should respond to the “You deserve better” excuse if you want to save your marriage: Many wives get so focused on proving their husbands wrong about this that they really lose their meaning. The real problem here is that your husband asks or tells you that he wants a divorce. You may be using this as an excuse or you may actually believe it to be true. But, the fact is, there is something so wrong right now that you want to throw in the towel.

So don’t make the mistake of thinking so much about the reason behind this. Instead, focus on fixing it. It is okay to ask your husband if he can share with you why he feels this way. It is very possible that you feel remorse about something and are looking for a way to download. And he figures that if you do get divorced, whatever you have to unload will seem tame by comparison.

But, if you don’t reveal it, then this may just be an excuse. Therefore, you should not repeatedly dwell on it or accumulate more negative emotions or implications. What you can do, however, is focus on what is the cause behind almost every divorce that occurs: a lack of intimacy, a loss of connection, and a decrease in affection and empathy. In truth, no matter what you are saying about this business that it “deserves better”, chances are there are other things at stake.

Your goal right now: Don’t confuse your goal with convincing your husband that he is wrong. Your real goal should be to build the relationship through positive interactions and exchanges. It’s better to show him that things can be lighthearted, optimistic, and happy again rather than repeatedly trying to tell or convince him. Once he sees that the two of you can reconnect in the old, positive, and satisfying way, then it would no longer make sense for him to assume that you would want or deserve anything else.

What he always comes back to is to rekindle and reintroduce the two people who fell in love for the first time. Yes, I know times have changed since they were dating. I know you have more responsibilities and problems that take up time. But in truth, everyone wants the same from their marriage. They want to feel understood, worthy, competent, desirable, and admired. These things cannot happen if you don’t give your marriage and spouse the time they deserve.

And look at it this way. You really already know what connects the two of you. You’ve already fallen deeply in love before. Take a moment to remember how you accomplished this. It was probably through fun and intimate moments shared between two happy, open-hearted people who were focused on each other. You can return to this place, and when you do, neither of you is going to worry about whether the other is getting all that he or she deserves and is entitled to receive.

Don’t focus so much on the semantics in question. Almost always, the underlying situations that precede a divorce diminish intimacy and connection, no matter what excuses are offered or what is said. Focus on these things. You may have to move slowly and break it down from day to day. This is good. But, if you can tackle and fix these things, the rest will generally fall into place.