Long distance relationships are sometimes unavoidable. Many of us don’t like them because relationships with your partner are controlled by your partner. It’s much harder to catch someone cheating on you from a long distance than if they lived close to each other. There is the constant fear that you might meet someone new or be tempted by some slut in your area. And the contact between you is brief, so you have plenty of time to imagine and fantasize about what could be happening to him without you. So how do you deal with a long distance relationship so that your love grows?

1. Agree on what you expect from each other. The assumption is the killer of many relationships. You both need to talk and agree on the type of relationship you have and what it entails. Is it just a casual relationship until he comes back to town…and what does that mean? Is it okay for you to go out with other people and when you go out is it with your long distance relationship in mind or as an available single woman? Is your long-distance relationship exclusive so that you are emotionally and/or physically faithful to each other…but still casually date? There are so many relationship possibilities that you must define yours and agree on what it is and what each of you is obliged to do. Don’t assume that he wants the same things you do or that he feels what you feel or that he has the self-control that you do.

2. Agree on what breaks the relationship for each of you. You both feel like human beings and attractive people will be a part of your life until they die, so agree on what you both can’t do in this relationship. If you do what is forbidden, does that mean the relationship is over or are you just trying harder not to do it? Agree on what’s realistic for both of you so you don’t frustrate each other.

3. Agree on the type and frequency of your communication. Communication is key in a long-distance relationship, and both of you should commit to a regular communication schedule based on costs and your other commitments. There is nothing more frustrating than not knowing when you will talk to each other again. So minimize that for yourselves by agreeing on how, when and how often.

Relationships are built on trust, and a long-distance relationship often tests your trust in each other in new ways…but if handled properly, it can be a great trust-builder for both of you. When you agree on these 3 key themes, you will minimize mistrust in the long distance relationship.