I waited until I was 23 to get my first Pap test. I have now gone through 10 years of dreading that annual exam. Sometimes I have been nervous for several days before. Even after giving birth to two babies, I still dread that anal, I mean yearly, check…until recently. I finally had what I might call a “nice pap.” I told the AP it was the best porridge I’ve ever had. I think I know why. If you hate those annual exams, follow these simple guidelines and learn to love your pap smear.

First of all, I asked for a female doctor. Go to an office that has female doctors or physician assistants.

For me, having a doctor reaching into such a private area made the visit that much more stressful. It probably didn’t help that my OB/GYN is 6’6. One of those hands could hold a small child.

Now I always program with the PA, a small lady with small hands. She is a woman and she is small. That’s a huge plus for me, someone who almost faints when she puts in a tampon.

Second, wear socks. For many years, I was told to relax when I lay on that cracked paper on the cold doctor’s bed in a freezing room. It is difficult to relax when there is a metal or plastic object in the vagina and it is not foreplay. Try adding a temperature that is several degrees below your comfort level. The simple act of wearing socks helps to warm up your whole body and you can relax a little more.

Third, wear a jacket or blanket. I know I looked a little ridiculous walking into the gynecologist in a sweater and socks in Florida… back in July. Just take a backpack. For the same reasons he wears socks, wearing a jacket or keeping warm with a blanket will help his muscles relax, and there are plenty of muscles “down there.”

Fourth, eat chocolate. A little chocolate a few minutes beforehand helps release those happy chemicals. Studies have shown that chocolate causes your brain to release serotonin, a chemical that helps you feel happy and more relaxed. Happiness is relaxing and that’s a big key to having a happy porridge.

Fifth, talk to your doctor. Making jokes about my “ridiculous” fear of doctors helps me relax. Talking about your plans for the weekend or a book you’re reading can really take your mind off the proceedings. Usually a quiet person, I tend to talk about my PA a lot. It really works.

Finally, take something to read. There’s nothing worse than sitting half-naked in a waiting room on crumpled paper with nothing to do but stare at the strange instruments the doctor will place in your vagina as your legs spread in an awkward split. If you have something to read, time will fly by and you will be able to avoid looking around and thinking about the upcoming poll.

I recommend that all OB/GYNs have chocolate, gowns, slippers, and a variety of reading material in their exam rooms. I’m surprised this hasn’t been done. The ladies would be lining up at the door to get an exam in that office. Until then, follow my lead and take the necessities and you’ll be telling your doctor, or personal assistant, that you loved your pap smear.