You have paid close attention to all the advice you have been given by the experts on how to get your ex back. You have given space to your ex. You have obeyed a no contact rule for several weeks.

You haven’t begged, pleaded, or revealed a needy side of yourself. You went out, met new people and had fun without your ex. He has kept his emotions in check and has remained confident.

You’ve done everything you’re supposed to do, but now you’re ready to make that all-important first contact with your ex. And you’ve decided to use your cell phone to try and text your ex.

You take out your phone. You look at the screen. You start pressing some buttons.

Then you get stuck.

You realize that you don’t really know what to say or how to say it. Do you just say hello? do you apologize? Are you trying to say something funny or romantic? Do you talk about the relationship or do you just pretend that everything is like before?

We have all been there. Trying to text your ex after a breakup is never as easy as it seems. But here are some texting tips that can help you get one step closer to getting your ex back than you were yesterday.

1.) If possible, try to avoid sending what Michael Fiore mentions in his texting guide, Text Your Ex Back, as a “nothing” text. These texts basically say nothing and leave no hooks for your ex to respond to. Text messages like “What’s up?” or “Hello” are great for everyday conversations, but they’re usually useless when it comes to getting your ex back.

2.) Don’t talk about the relationship. Your old relationship is dead and talking about it will only cause negative feelings. Instead, you want to focus on texts that help your ex see you in a positive light and texts that help them open up to the idea of ​​being with you in a new relationship.

3.) Avoid holding a grudge or texting that makes your ex feel like they owe you something. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you have made in the relationship and be able to forgive your ex for his mistakes as well.

4.) Always keep texting positive if you want your ex back. Never get into a fight or any other type of negative conversation with your ex over text.

5.) Don’t send needy texts that make you seem desperate to get your ex back.

6.) You must have a goal in mind for each text before sending it. What response do you hope to get from your ex? A smile? A laugh? Are you trying to bring back a specific memory of the good times you have shared together? Always text with a purpose.

7.) Get the ball rolling with a “cross text”. According to Michael Fiore, a cross-text is “…that first text you send when you haven’t spoken or seen your ex in a while, and it’s designed to let him know you’re thinking about him, that you don’t have any negative feeling towards them, and that you’re not terribly upset about the breakup (even if you really are).

Here’s a quick example: “I just saw the cutest kitty. It made me smile and I immediately thought of you because I know how much you love cats. I hope you are doing great.”

When you want to text your ex after a breakup, using texts like the one above is great because they keep things positive, aren’t pushy in any way, and don’t pressure your ex to respond. It’s always important to tell your ex “out” in your first few texts so they don’t feel like they HAVE to respond.