With the school bells starting to ring, many parents
hearing their little ones moan that “nobody likes me”.
When you’re young and new to making friends, it’s
can be quite a challenge and can accommodate a large number of
fears and tears

Can a parent help a child make friends? The answer
It is not easy and it is both yes and no. Can
help, but you can’t overstep or take over. Help
your son is one thing, but if you go too far then the children
He will come for your cookies, your games and your walks.
to places to go. Your child will be a stranger looking in
and that’s not what you want.

Children learn more by example than by words. Treasure
your friends, talk about them in “good” terms and make
time to share with them. If your child feels that
are an integral part of his/her life, so he/she will soon
come to the conclusion that friends are a vital part of who
we are and where we want to go. This, in itself, will be a
Push yourself out to try a little harder, or to be more open and
witty.

As a parent, if you open your home to the children in your
your child’s school or football team, don’t “be” there constantly.
Of course, supervision is important, but it should not be
despotic. You don’t have to be part of the board game,
and you don’t have to help make a field goal. Leave the
children be themselves, feel a little free in what they do and
say because you are still father and “old”, it does not matter
your age. If tensions arise, intervene a bit, but even
letting minor issues heal on their own is a learning experience.
What may start as a “war” may well just be a “skirmish”
and a “victory” is at the end of that tunnel.

When you sit down with your child to talk about making friends,
the important lesson is that they understand that they have to be
a friend to have one. Respect what other children have
interests, likes, dislikes and favorites is just a part of life. Yew
your child is only interested in his favorite sport, doll or
superhero, then this limits the playing field for them. If they
they are open to see other options, so they are on their way.
In addition, your child must be taught to “read” other children. If they
they’re upset, it’s not necessarily with them. could just be
having a bad day or something at home that has nothing to do with it
do with your child. Children can be moody and understanding.
this can relieve tension and fear. It’s not all your son’s fault.
Other children may have problems and needs, and the adults are there.
to fill in the gaps. Share, care and be respectful and kind.
they are more than topics. They are a way of life – a foray into
being the type of person that everyone wants as a friend. It is never
too early to learn these traits and incorporate them into daily life.
living. Selfishness and “mine” is part of growing up, but
can be channeled in the right way for fun and enjoyment
it is not left aside to have it all. if your son
he feels in his heart that people are more important than things,
then they will be open and ready to meet other middle kids
walk and share experiences and toys.

If you want to help your child succeed at being a good friend,
then be one with your son. Share your time and your wisdom in
a way that will make your child see that love is life and have
friends is a treasure in itself. The clothes you wear, the type of
because that takes you to school, or the shoes on your feet are not
the big answer. If it’s for some, then your friendship would be
shallow and restless He is and always will be the inside person.
that designer jacket, or walking around in those Nike shoes. Be a
It’s the first step, and even friend when the bumps and bruises
from childhood come, your child will have the confidence
that life takes a curve, but you’re there to help smooth it out
the edges and let go of some of the worries. A few minutes
and allow your child to be himself and talk to you
be more help than lectures and demands. you are an example
and that is stronger than your words.
Something to think about.

©Arleen M. Kaptur

August 2007